Developing Healthy Relationships Through Self Love – Learning First to Love the Self and Then Others

By Karlene H Simon

Healthy relationships stems from healthy minded individuals. Most may or may not agree that failed relationships are caused by both individuals involved. In failed relationships people often blame one another for the problems they experienced together. When people talk about their failed relationships it is less often you hear someone say “I was the problem,” but more often “he or she was the problem.” I am going to be bold and say failed relationships are a result of lack of self love. People sometimes stay in relationships waiting for the other person to love them and hoping that person would change. The reality is the person you should expect to love you the way you want, is you. When you love yourself you will not let others mistreat you because you understand your self worth.

To be loved you must first love yourself, and to be happy you must first make yourself happy. When you love and make yourself happy then you can love and make others happy. Healthy relationships are two people that complement each other; it is two wholesome individuals coming together. Many people make the mistake of looking for someone to love and make them happy which usually ends in failed relationships; in some cases one fail relationship after another. You cannot develop healthy relationships with others if you do not have a healthy relationship with yourself. Find out how to love yourself rather than finding someone to love you; find out what makes you happy rather than someone to makes you happy. The key is to get comfortable in your own body rather than having somebody make you comfortable.

From personal experience, the first step is the most difficult, people often think that they love themselves but in reality they do not. Loving yourself is more than loving what you see when you look in the mirror. The best indications of self love are, the ability to be alone but not feel lonely, and being able to love all those around us. We are our biggest and worst critics; there are features or attributes we may dislike about ourselves but other find them appealing. Self love enables us to love ourselves, including our imperfections. With self love people are more likely to work towards improving areas in their lives including love relationships. Self improvement leads to being a wholesome person, a person whose overall self love extends and attract love to and from others, in turn, the ability to develop healthy love relationships.

If you want to develop healthy love relationships with others then start with yourself. First look within to create the desire outcome of a healthy love relationship. If you feel unloved and unhappy within then no one can love and make you happy. Self love empowers you to develop and become a wholesome person, in turn, having the ability to develop healthy love relationships.

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